What are the signs of sexual compatibility?

Here are six signs from Marin that can serve as a foundational guide for determining where you and your partner or potential partner might align. Chances are, you might not be a perfect match, but this should give you a general idea of whether you have compatible sex drives, desires, and outlooks on sexual relationships.

• You're generally on the same page about how often to have sex.Specifically, how often would feel satisfying for both parties? If you're just not on the same page with this one, you can talk about implementing other forms of action on no-sex days or stretches, too, such as different types of sensual or sexual activities to increase intimacy, adds Murray. This can look like making out or even just cuddling—whatever works for both people.
  
• You're open to each other's ideas and interests. Do you like doing the same things in the bedroom? Which acts do you enjoy, and how long do they last? How do you define sex individually, and how do those definitions contrast? You likely won't be on the same page about everything, but these questions can help you determine where you're compatible, and where you're not. 
  
• Your partner understands the way you like to feel during sex, and vice versa.What kind of mood do you like to experience during sex? Do you like to feel cared for and worshipped, bossed around a bit, or maybe degraded? Do you prefer a romantic experience, something a little more aggressive, or sex that falls somewhere in between? As opposed to your fantasies and sexual interests, this is all about "the energy you want to cultivate" during intimate moments, says Marin. 
• You respect each other's 'hard no' areas and boundaries. Are your needs and boundaries able to be met? Can you respect each other's limits? This one is possibly the most important in a healthy relationship.
• You have similar beliefs on what the structure of your relationship should be. What is your preferred relationship structure? Are you monogamous, or non-monogamous? This might also influence how you use certain safe sex practices, like how often you get tested or whether you use protection.
• You're both willing to put effort into your sex life. You might differ on a few of the signs above, but this one is a biggie. Are you both willing to put effort into your sex lives? Are you both willing to work on sex?